You Don't Want Me
by glo1196
Summary: After Headhunters but completely AU after that. Misunderstandings which cause them to have extreme reactions. Someone will get hurt trying to escape the pain of feeling unloved. Will they make it? Very angsty...and will eventually have some M chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so this story just hit me and it had to be written because it won't let go. Just so you know, it is stream of mind. No beta and just my own lousy editing, so please only point out huge infractions. I promise that this story will end better than it starts, and Castle and Beckett will be together after they get through the messy stuff. There will be lots of angst before the smut. I am hoping to be done with this in two weeks or so. It starts off at the end of Headhunters, but becomes totally AU after that. Hope you come along for the ride…hold on tight.**

**Disclaimer- after all this time they are still not mine, but heck they maybe acting like mine fairly soon! We can only hope!**

You Don't Want Me…..

The pain in her heart only supersedes the ache now assaulting her head, and Kate is just barely been holding everything together. Every time he arrives with the giggly blonde at a crime scene or meets her at the precinct, the knife twists in her gut and her heart breaks just a little more. Then comes Detective Slaughter, and she tires to show him that no matter what she will always be there for him, always has his back. She puts her job on the line for him, but he doesn't seem to even notice, finally she admits to herself, he just doesn't care and it's over.

She's finally ready to jump into this relationship and she's the last person on earth he wants. He wants blonde, exciting and uncomplicated. She's definitely none of the above. His uncomplicated comment cuts her to the core, she knows he meant to hurt her with those words and the memory brings tears to her eyes.

Holing herself up for the last three weeks hasn't made things better. She cries herself to sleep every night, beating herself up for waiting, for not being ready, for being her, and its time to stop. It's time to move forward, and start building that wall that had never come down in the first place.

She calls Madison and asks her if she wants to do girl's night out with dancing and drinks. Madison quickly accepts oblivious to the circumstance behind the invite.

Dressed to the nines, wearing a dress that is far from being considered decent during daylight hours, it hugs every curve of her body and barely covers her ass. She's ready to party and forget everything. The five-inch spiked heals; hair and make-up round out the clubb scene look. She's hoping that any attention will ease the pain around her heart, if not the alcohol will definitely dull the pain. Attracting men has never been her problem; keeping them and committing is. She's learning the hard way that she is damaged and love, real love will never be within her reach.

Five tequila shots and two whiskey sours later she's the center of attention on an extremely crowded dance floor. Surrounded by a rowdy group of men, all vying for her attention, as she dances suggestively against them. All of them getting some of her personal attention as she grinds her body warmly against them.

Things start to get a little out of hand. Hands slide over her body inappropriately as they dance, but she is far to intoxicated to care or notice. Keeping her drinks coming, she wards off the pain she no longer feels. She no longer cares about anything.

Madison tries to pull her away from the group several times, with no success. She manages to take her phone and calls Castle numerous times, but he does not return the calls. Madison starts getting nervous as the group starts to move away from the dance floor, and resorts to calling Esposito when she can no longer spot Kate on the dance floor.

"Hey Beckett, wassup?" He answers expecting to hear her give him information on where to locate the next body drop.

"Hello Detective Esposito? This is Madison, Kate's friend. I'm calling because I am at Club 36 and Kate has had too much to drink, and things seem to be a bit out of control with a group guys, and now I can't find any of them. I'm worried." She practically yells into the cell phone trying to be heard over the music.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Espo responds and hangs up the phone. He has seen how she has been lately. She has been reckless and he feels the anxiety building in his gut, this is not good.

He calls Ryan and they decide to meet at the club as soon as possible.

At the club Kate has lost any control she thought she had. She tries to move towards the dance floor but her feet won't cooperate and the men are being insistent. Her dress gets lifted over her hips and her thong gets ripped off her body. They grind themselves into her, and lead her towards the back of the club and out into the back alley. She hardly notices what is happening to her. She feels dizzy and very tired when one of the men yanks at her dress ripping the front and exposing her breasts. She tries to scream, to cover herself but she can't move, her body isn't responding the way she wants it to and she starts to panic.

Opening her mouth she tries to tell them she is NYPD but nothing comes out. Her vision gets fuzzy and paralyzing fear starts to rise as she feels the rest of her dress being ripped from her body. Hands grope and grab her breasts and ass painfully. She struggles fruitlessly against them when she feels something hit her face, and then her ribs. She doubles over in pain and gets yanked up by the hair and punched in the stomach.

"Stupid bitch bet she doesn't remember us." she hears, before they take turns hitting her and abusing her. One of them has pulled himself out of his pants, and she wants to fight. Her last thought before she blacks out is she deserves this. He doesn't love her, and now no one will.

When Esposito and Ryan arrive at the club they immediately go into cop mode and search for her. A bartender points them to the back of the club. They spot the back entrance jarred open, the alley is silent and they do not see anything right away. Not far from the back door and behind the dumpster, they find Kate in the fetal position, badly bruised and naked. Blood streaks her face and back, angry bruises are already marring her porcelain skin, and there is an open gash on her hip. She isn't moving and the sight of her like this makes both boys nauseous and seething with anger. Thankfully Ryan finds her pulse.

Ryan drapes his jacket gently over her, as Esposito calls for a bus. Both men are at a loss for words as they tend to their friend and co-worker. Espo finally scoops her up and holds her in his arms as they wait for the ambulance, careful not to disturb any evidence possibly on her body. He's not leaving her on the cold dirty ground like that. Ryan keeps watch for the bus and to minimize the number of people seeing her like this.

"God help them if I ever find out who did this to her! I am going to rip them limb from limb." Esposito growls in anger. Ryan punches the dumpster in frustration. How could this happen to one of their own?

As she is being rolled into the bus both men stare silently at their friend, sister and boss. Kate is more than just their co-worker she is family, and this cuts them deeply.

"We need to call her father, then Lanie and Gates to let them know what has happened." Ryan manages to say as he leans against the brick wall. "Do you think we should let him know?"

"I don't think I can talk to him right now. I'll send a text and we can start calling everyone else." Esposito takes out his phone and prays he is making the right decision, because honestly he wants to kill Castle right now. He knows she will kill him when she finds out he called him later.

"Beckett's, in bad shape, beaten and probably raped, bus taking her NYU Medical Center. Just wanted you to know." He presses send and hopes he has done the right thing, no one has heard from him in two weeks. For all they know he is out of the country.

He calls her father, followed by Lanie and Gates and gives them the information. All three will meet them at the hospital. They will all get there before the two of them.

**Today has been a great day for promos and previews. I am home sick in bed and have gotten to watch them as they came out, something that never happens to me. There are another 3600 words of this story already written and will be up this weekend if people are interested. Please leave a review and let me know. I would really appreciate it….so please…it is right there in blue right below this….just click it ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Here is the second chapter of this story. The story just won't let go and I really don't have any idea where it will go, or how long it will be. Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English is not my first language and there is no beta. Contractions are the hardest, and I keep fixing them in this one. Anyway, this is the big confrontation. I love Lanie in this, because I can see her doing this. Hope, you enjoy and please let me know by reviewing.**

**Disclaimer- Why do I need a disclaimer to say I don't own them? I am not rich, I do not live in California, I do not know Stana Katic, Nathan Fillion or the best cast on TV. So of course I do not own them! Geez….Louise!**

Esposito and Ryan arrive at the hospital after stopping by the precinct to get news and give their statements. They found Lanie and Gates sitting in the family waiting room talking quietly. They looked up as the boys entered the room, their eyes full of concern.

"Where's Beckett's father?" Ryan blurts out looking around the room. "Has he arrived yet?"

"He's in the room with her and the doctor right now. He took this hard, as any father would. She's just coming around. It looks like she was roofied, and beaten. A rape kit has been done and we're anxiously waiting for the results. What was she thinking?" Gates asks as concern for one of her best detectives grows. This doesn't seem at all like her lead detective.

"She hasn't been herself lately, Sir." Lanie chimes in hardly containing the anger in her voice. "I don't think she was thinking at all. I don't think she cares much anymore, definitely not for herself. She's been reckless and taking risks she shouldn't be taking. Not since he…"

Gates raises an eyebrow as Lanie talks, she has a feeling she knows what is coming.

Castle is standing at the door and had been listening to their conversation.

"Not since when Lanie?" he barks out startling everyone. Lanie turns to face him and prepares to give it to him with both barrels.

"Not since you left her Castle. Is that what you want to hear? That you broke her when she was finally going to tell you she loved you. You decided to move on and shove it in her face that you had enough of waiting? Why the hell are you here, Castle? You obviously could care less what happens to her." Lanie had been building up steam as she speaks to him and is practically yelling at him by the time she is finished. She pokes him hard in the chest. "She wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for…" she lets the words trail away to nothing, but her glare speaks volumes.

"How do you know that?" he demands as he stands over Lanie. Esposito stands next to Lanie in support. They may not be together but he will make sure no one steps over the line with her. Castle is currently persona non grata in his book.

"Because she told me, you stupid jackass. She has been trying to tell you for a while but you kept getting interrupted, by work, these buffoons over here. Then you decided you had enough and you shove your blonde stewardess, and Slaughter down her throat. We all knew after you left because she told us, and she told us it was her fault and not to take it out on you." She shoves him back with both hands. "That she wasn't good enough for you and you deserved better. She was wrong, Richard Castle. It is her who definitely deserves better."

Castle turns and storms out of the room with a purpose. Could he have been that stupid not to notice. Could he have ruined the most important relationship of his life? He walks to the nurse's station and asks for Katherine Beckett's room. She gives him directions and points him towards the room.

Finally finding the room he peeks around the corner and sees Mr. Beckett standing by Kate's bed, holding her hand, and trying to calm her tears. She looks so fragile; it shakes him to the core.

"Katie this isn't your fault," he argues with her as she shakes her head. "The men who did this will get caught and will get what they deserve; Ryan and Esposito will make sure of that. You know they won't rest until they are caught."

"They can't do anything Dad. That isn't even under our jurisdiction. The Special Victims Unit will pick it up, and I will be the laughing stalk of the precinct. I worked so hard to build my reputation at the precinct, and I shot it to hell in one night. I won't press charges this is my fault. It happened because of my stupidity and irresponsibility. Let it go Dad; don't let this push you back into the bottle. That would completely shatter me." She sounds broken, sad and beaten down. The confidant, strong detective is no where to be found.

"Those boys aren't going to give up finding who did this to you, Katie." He decides to change the subject. "Are you going to call him Katie? He should be told."

"Dad, please let it go. If Castle had wanted me he would have stayed. He got tired of waiting for me. He got tired of my baggage. You can't blame him. He doesn't want me anymore, he wants uncomplicated and blonde. I waited too long; it's my fault. I drove him away." The tears are streaming down her face and her hands are wringing the sheet she is covered in. "It hurts, it hasn't hurt like this since mom."

"Katie, you can't turn off love, honey." He says trying to soothe and calm her. He goes to put his hand on her shoulder but thinks better of it. She has so many bruises he doesn't want to cause her anymore pain.

"I know, but Castle somehow managed to do it. He found the magic switch. Overnight he stopped looking at me like I was something special. I stopped being extraordinary to him; he finally sees me as the damaged goods I am. I wish I could find that switch, because God help me dad I still love him. I'll always love him."

Castle clears his throat and steps into the doorway as if he hadn't been listening all along.

"We have got to stop meeting like this detective." He says, trying to lighten the mood.

"Castle." She says looking away and avoiding his eyes. She uses her hair to hide her face. She doesn't want him to remember her like this. "What are you doing here?"

"Esposito let me know that you had been hurt. I wanted to make sure you were ok." His voice betrays him and cracks as he walks to her bed and places a hand on her lower leg. She cringes at the touch, and he removes it quickly.

"I'm ok, Castle. No need to worry just a few bumps and bruises, everything will be back to normal soon. Thank you for coming." She is trying to give him an easy way out. She doesn't want him to feel obligated to stay when he doesn't care about her any longer. She isn't going to be his pity case.

"That's not what I've heard Kate." He looks at her and sees how badly her face and arms are bruised. He wants to take away her pain but is afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

"She may not tell you, but I will." Her father responds angrily as he bores a hole into Castle with his stare. Castle understand her father's protective streak, in his place he doesn't think he would fare as well.

"Dad, don't!" she pleads. Her eyes plead for him to drop it, but he puts his hand on her arm and continues.

"She was beaten and who knows what else by numerous men. She has broken ribs, and fractures on her wrist and clavicle. Add twenty-one stitches from a cut on her hip that they think came from something in the alley. She has more bruises than you can count and will be here for at least 48 hours. She doesn't know who they are and there are no suspects yet." His anger practically seethes out his pours and is coming through loud and clear, Castle can't blame him.

"Now, what are you doing here?" Mr. Beckett say before his daughter interrupts him.

"Dad, maybe you should go and get something to eat. Bring me back some coffee from the coffee shop across the street not the nasty stuff from the cafeteria?" She places her hand over her father's hand and gives him an encouraging squeeze.

"Katie, I don't want you getting upset." His daughter looks up at him and they exchange looks, as short silent conversation happens between them. Mr. Beckett stands and puts on his jacket. "I'll be back in less than an hour." He stands kisses Kate's head and walks out the door without another word. He doesn't acknowledge Castle as he leaves.

"Kate, what happened? " He asks as he moves a chair closer to her. "Why were you there?"

"It doesn't matter why I was there, Castle. You don't have to stay. I am not your responsibility, I never was. Please don't feel like you are obligated to be here. I was stupid, and got exactly what I deserve. I am sorry Espo asked you to come. It was great seeing you again, really." Her lips turn up in a small smile, hoping it is enough to get him to believe she is ok. She hasn't looked at him since he walked in the door. She can't bring herself to see the pity or coldness she knows she will find in his eye.

"You haven't even looked at me since I walked in Kate. Look at me." His voice is soft and gentle. He tries to lift her chin but she shies away from his touch.

"Castle, you have fulfilled any obligation you think you may have had. Please, go back to your family or whatever blonde you were doing before all this interrupted you. I am sorry." Her voice is hoarse and cracking. A tear escapes her eye and she hopes he doesn't notice. She doesn't want him to see her fall apart. She wants him to remember the confidant strong detective he based Nikki on, not this mess of a woman before him.

"Kate you're crying. Please talk to me." He pleads with her, ignoring her blonde bimbo comment. "I love you and can't bare to see you this way. Please, let me help you?"

Kate's head snaps up and she looks and their eyes meet for the first time since he walked in. Her eyes are dark and dangerous, a ferocious storm brewing behind them suddenly.

"What did you say? How dare you say that because I am sitting here a mess? That won't help me Castle? You know you don't mean it. Don't you say that to me unless you mean it, because otherwise it would be a cruel joke, and I can't handle that on top of all this. Get out Castle." The tears stream down her face unchecked as she tries to subdue her anger.

"Kate Beckett, I love you and I know you love me. Our friends out there told me. I heard you tell your father when I was about to walk in here. I am not leaving you here, to think that you are unloved. I may be a jerk and a fool, but I know what I have been feeling for the last three years!" He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"You love me? Then explain what the hell happened in the last three weeks? The bimbo blondes, the Ferrari, Detective Slaughter, no coffee, and making sure I knew that you weren't at the precinct for me. That's how you show someone you love them? What changed? What did I do?" she asks him her voice laden with anger and fear.

"I heard you Kate. I heard you tell the kid in the interrogation room that you remembered every detail of your shooting. You told a complete stranger but you couldn't tell me. I took that to mean you didn't care that way for me. That you didn't love me and by avoiding the subject, you were letting me down easy by saying you didn't remember. Why wouldn't you tell me? Why would you lie? I am so sorry this has happened, I should have talked to you, and none of this would've happened." He puts his head in his hands, trying to keep his emotions in check. Her eyes stare at him in complete shock. This wasn't the way he was supposed to find out.

**A special thank you to everyone who reviewed! You guys are awesome and very helpful in getting me to get this chapter up. It is encouraging to get reviews, because it lets authors know that people appreciate it and are reading. So to IrrationalObsessions, Kateit, willowmorrgainne1213, Beckett NYPD, 76Marjo, Judy1229, pealee, and Beckett NYPD just a shout out to you guys for reviewing! Thank you to everyone else who reviewed too! Please, let me know what you think by pressing the link and leaving your thoughts! Thanks, and can't wait until tomorrow's episode! Fandom may just implode and we won't have anything to write about! So tell me will they or won't they tomorrow?**


	3. Chapter 3

**I can't even begin to put into words what I think about "Always." It wasn't perfect, but it was as close to it as you can get in my book. I was on edge or almost in tears the entire episode. Love Stana and Nathan for bring such wonder characters to life for us. I hope they continue to do so for years to come. Now on to the story, the finale helped ease the angst of this chapter. You will see how. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer – Could never ever make something as wonderful as this series. So they are obviously not mine.**

"Because I wasn't ready Castle! Damn it can't you see I needed to be what you deserved? I had to be able to be at a place where I knew I would be as good for you as you are for me. I had to fix myself so I was worthy of you." She is frustrated and angry with herself for taking so long.

"I would have understood if you told me you needed time." He sounds so hurt it makes her heart ache even more. All this hurt he has had to endure because of her isn't fair.

"I couldn't face it, Castle. Everything it would entail to love you. Everything you deserved to have. I want to be someone who could love you the same way that you love. I wasn't there. I've been in therapy trying to make me a better person. One who deserved you." Her eyes plead with him to understand. "I didn't want to hurt you, and it would have hurt you."

"Kate. I fell in love with you the way you are now. I love every part of you flawed or not. We are all flawed. You don't have to do this alone. I can help you and we can do it together." He doesn't have any fight left. She had lied to him to protect him, and he had a secret of his own that he kept for her protection. He couldn't be a hypocrite. He puts his head down on his arms crossed on her bed. "I don't know how to make this right?"

"I'm sorry, Rick." She places her hand on his head and tangles her fingers through his thick hair. Tears are running unchecked down both their faces.

"I've always wanted to do this." She whispers as she continues to stroke her fingers through his hair. He finally looks up at her. "You were right last year , Castle. We don't talk .…we never talk. You're right about me hiding in relationships with men I don't love. I'm done with that. I know what I want and it's about time I do something about it." She lifts his head off his arms and makes eye contact with him.

"Castle, I love you. I need you. These last weeks have shown me that I don't want to do it without you by my side." The smile that spreads across her face lights up the room.

Castle is rendered speechless for one of the few times in his life. Kate Beckett has just told him she loves and needs him. He open and closes his mouth several times but nothing crosses his lips.

The screech of a rusty hinge startles Castle, as the door swings open behind them. Castle lets out a frustrated groan at the interruption. They both roll their eyes at the interruption. Their timing has always been horrible but this one takes the cake. He turns to find the doctor staring down at his clipboard and reviewing some test results.

"Kate we have the results of some of your tests." Castle gets up and stands next to her. He wraps his hand firmly around hers and looks down at her. No matter what these tests say he will not leave her.

"Your rape kit results show external bruising and definitely some contusions but no sign of DNA or semen in your body. Internally there is no signs of rape. We did find plenty of semen on your body It has already turned over to your colleagues, as well as Detective Ryan's jacket and Detective Esposito's clothes. You took a pretty severe beating. After examining your scans we have noticed that your right kidney is severely bruised, and not functioning properly. We will need to monitor that and treat anything that may come up due to the complication. You have to take it easy so your ribs and clavicle heal properly. I have suggested to your Captain that you be relieved from duty for a period of at least six weeks to eight weeks, if there are no other new complications." He looks up from the clipboard and asks if she has any questions, and leaves the room when she has none. They both stare at each other for what feels like a long time.

"I am so sorry Kate. If I hadn't acted like an ass, you wouldn't have gone there. This is all my fault."

"Castle, no, no Castle. I don't blame you. I went out of my own free will. This isn't your fault. Don't do this to yourself or us. Don't put this between us. No one could have known that those men were going to be there. I should have been more careful."

"I wasn't going anywhere no matter what he had said, Kate. I am not going anywhere now or ever. Always." He bends over and lightly presses his lips against her forehead. She raises her hand and strokes his jaw and moves his lips down to hers. Their lips barely touch but it is all they need for now.

The door opens and a concerned Mr. Beckett followed by Gates, the boys and Lanie walk in. They all stop when the notice Castle's hand firmly encased in hers. Gates quickly raises an eyebrow for the second time today.

"Something you care to share with the rest of us Detective?" she asks.

"Just mending some fences and clearing the air about misunderstanding, Sir." Kate replies with a faint smile on her face. Gates was no fool as she watched these two carefully. They weren't fooling her, but this unorthodox team worked and she was secretly was happy for them.

Gates turns and heads out the door. Looking over her shoulder she calls out to Kate, "I don't want to see you or that shadow of yours in my precinct for at least six to eight weeks, or until you are released for duty. I'm not playing, detective. I need you healthy and strong. Oh and Mr. Castle take care of her. I'll be watching."

Lanie walks up to the other side of the bed and grabs her other hand. "You ok, girlie? Writer boy better be treating you well, because he doesn't want the likes of me after his cute ass." Both Lanie and Beckett laugh. Castle's ass has been the topic of conversation at girl's night out in the past.

"I think we will be ok. We will need to work out a few things, but I think we can handle it." She tells Lanie as she holds her friend's hand firmly in her own. "Thank you for being there for me."

"Lanie, boys, I won't make the same mistake twice. I was wrong in parading women in the precinct and shadowing Slaughter. I should have talked to her and we could have fixed things before they became so messed up." Castle looks at his friends. He is so proud to call these people his friends and make shift family. They know if the tables were turned they would do this for him. "I'm sorry any of this happened."

Ryan and Esposito walk up to Castle and stand on either side of him. "Bro, you hurt her like that again and there won't be a body to investigate. She was on self-destruct and that my friend was all your doing. You two learn to talk or it will be messy," Espo growls angrily at Castle.

Ryan slaps him forcefully on the back. "You didn't have to see her in that alley, man. You didn't have to cover her while she was unconscious. This happens because of you and we will come looking for you, and no one will find you." Ryan and Espo back away from the bed.

Lanie fearlessly looks across the bed at him. She maybe small but that woman is something to deal with. "Writer-boy you ever play the games you played these past few weeks again with my girl, and the boys won't have to worry about their threats. We'll just leave it at that. Now take care of her and make her happy. It's about time."

"We're going to stop by the station and see what they have. We'll let you know as soon as we know anything." She watches Espo as he speaks and shakes her head no. He raises his hand to stop her. "This isn't getting swept under the table Beckett. You are family and this is not going to go unchecked. We'll make sure it is done discreetly. The 12th has always taken care of their own."

All three friends walk over to Kate and kiss her cheek goodbye. As they leave she tears up watching her makeshift family walk out of the room. They had sure gone through a lot together. When the door shuts behind them Mr. Beckett clears his throat and places the coffee cup on her nightstand.

"Katie, are you really ok?" her father walks to the head of the bed, and brushes the hair from her face, and behind her ear. She sees the concern in his eyes and wants to take it away.

"I will be. The rape kit came back negative, Dad. That's the best news we can have right now. Castle and I have a lot to talk about and work through. Neither of us has been totally fair to the other, and if we want this to work we will both have to mend and work at it. I think it will be worth it." She smiles up at her father and pulls him on for a hug. "I love you Daddy." She whispers in his ear as he holds her.

"I asked you once to not let her throw her life away, son. I expect you to keep that promise now more than ever. She's all I have. " With that he turns to leaves the room.

"I will try not disappoint you, Sir," Are the last word Mr. Beckett hears before he closes the door behind him. Castle turned slowly knowing that Kate had not missed his parting words.

"Castle? What did my father mean about you not letting me throw my life away?"

"He came to the loft last year. He said I was probably the only one you would listen to. Told me your life was worth more than your mother's death. He wanted me to stop you from pursuing any investigation." He sits down in the chair beside the bed and slips his hand under hers. "Montgomery, asked me to do the same. He told me that I was the only one who you would listen to."

"When you came to my apartment and asked me to stop it was for them?"

"No Kate, not for them but for you, greedily for me, and for them. I loved you then, Kate. Telling you would not have made things any better."

"You talked about all the people who loved me, but when I asked, "what about you?" You said I was your partner, your friend. I wanted you to say it then. Castle do you remember the funeral? While I was speaking I said that, "If you are lucky you will find someone to stand with you. Do you remember?" She is watches Castle as he shakes his head.

"I stopped and looked at you. I was ready then to acknowledge there was more between us. There have been so many times I have almost given in to the words or actions, but once I was shot I was a marked woman. What would stop them from hurting those I love, Castle?" Her eyes find his and his lips slide like the softest silk against her waiting lips.

**Can't believe we have to wait until September to see the aftermath. Hope we see them being a couple. Them wrapped up in a sheet first thing in the morning. Him finally making the pancakes and it really meaning "thank you for last night." Please, leave me a review and let me know what you think of the story and the finale! I want to know! Have a good one **


	4. Chapter 4

**This is the last chapter of this particular story. I hope you enjoy it. Pretty please leave me a review. I worked on this one a long time. It just wasn't going the way I wanted to before. It is exceptionally long for me, but I did not want to cut it into two chapters and prolong it. It is definitely rated M, basically it is one very long sex scene between Castle and Beckett. Please leave me a review, had a couple of real bad days at work and reviews would make my day!**

**Disclaimer- If I owned Castle I would have Stana Katic over for a Cuban dinner. Then I would get her to allow me on the set of Castle to meet everyone. It would be great because I would cross it off my bucket list. Well since that will never happen, then I of course do not own them, or anything having to do with Castle.**

**You Don't Want Me**

**Chapter 4**

It has been a week since Kate has been released form the confines of the hospital. Castle and her father were insistent that she recovers at Castle's loft. She'd have help and company when she wanted it. However, getting a moment of quiet with Castle around turns out to be quite impossible. If she were honest with herself, she'd admit that she wanted him with her more often than not.

Most of her injuries had been superficial and did not need any kind of physical therapy. Her ribs and clavicle were healing nicely and in a week or so she could start a light exercise routine. Kate and Dr. Burke continued their weekly sessions, with an occasional extra session when things became too stressful or overwhelming, things were progressing nicely.

The boys had been following a few promising leads, keeping them updated with new developments. Gates made sure that Kate was not allowed to investigate her case in anyway, and she made sure Kate understood that loud and clear. It's clear that this case is probably an act of revenge. The boys efforts are now concentrated on Kate's recently released parolee's.

Today the loft was exceptionally quiet. Alexis had already made her way downstairs and made herself breakfast. She'd gone to school not long after 7 am. Martha and Castle were still fast asleep by the calm silence engulfing the loft. Kate quietly walked out of the guest room and padded down the stairs to the kitchen. She wanted to make a big breakfast, like she had the last time she stayed here when her apartment had blown up. She opens the huge refrigerator doors and marvels at the lack of a Styrofoam temple inside. Castle's fridge was very well stocked, unlike hers. She pulls out eggs, bacon, butter, mushrooms, cheese, onions and green peppers. Deciding on a vegetable omelet with bacon and buttered toast. She starts the coffee and then quickly got to work on the rest.

Just as she puts the omelets to warm in the oven, she hears a loud yawn behind her.

"Mmmm what smells so good this morning? Are you being domestic and making me breakfast? Do wonders never cease?" Castle's face lights up at the thought. Kate throws the dishtowel hanging by the oven at him, hitting him in the face. They both remember the breakfast the morning after her apartment blew up. She had thrown the dishrag in her face then too. It seems like so long ago.

"You know I can cook, Castle. Every Sunday my parents and I would make a big breakfast and just relax and do fun family things for the day. In the afternoon we would go out to dinner or stay at home and cook, but we always made cookies for me to take to school for snack." Kate loses herself in the memory. She is finally at a point where she can think back and remember the happy memories without letting the dark ones interfere.

Castle walks over to her and wraps his arms around her midsection. He kisses her cheek gently and she presses her body back against him. It had been a week since she had been here, and they still only kissed occasionally. They held hands and cuddled platonically on the couch. Kate wants more she needs more.

"So, impress me, my dear Detective." He taunts as he bows and slowly backs away while holding her hand. He places a kiss on her fingers as he pulls away.

Kate smiles, finishes frying up the bacon, and plates it. Then she gets the omelets and pours them each a cup of coffee. She smiles as she puts the finishing touches on their breakfast by placing the silverware and napkins down on the table.

Castle has been watching her with a mild fascination. She looks so comfortable and at home in his kitchen. He wants nothing more than to see her looking this comfortable in his house for the rest of his life. He wants to eat breakfast with her and take her back to the bedroom and relax her in other ways. That was a conversation for another time.

"You know they say the way to a man's heart is through their stomach, right? " Castle says as he lifts an eyebrow and wiggles it. Kate smiles and her heart skips a beat as she watches him. "This is delicious, Kate. It is a nice surprise, but you do know that you don't have to do this. You are our guest and are here to convalesce."

Kate smiles shyly at him, as she eats. Cooking for him was surprisingly fun and she felt good doing it. Something she had always felt was a chore she had to do for her past love interests. Castle reaches over and gives her hand a quick squeeze.

"Well, thank you for doing this, it is delicious." They finish their meal and get up to do the dishes together. Kate playfully flicks soap onto Castle's nose.

"To bad the suds aren't red, you'd look like a clown, Castle." She giggles and tries to scoop up more suds to throw at him. He quickly grabs her wrists and holds them in one hand.

"You calling me a clown, Beckett?" Castle feigns being offended, then he scoops up some of the suds and plops it down on her head, grabs for her hips and pulls her towards him to retaliate with another handful of suds.

Their chests meet and she looks up at him, their faces just a mere breath apart. Her eyes flicker for an instant to his lips and then back to his eyes which have suddenly darkened. She bites her bottom lip and looks up into twin pools of lust that she wants nothing more than to drown in.

Castle's leans down slowly and his hands tangle in her undeniably, soft, wavy hair that smells incredible. His lips ghost across her gently, and he hears her moan softly. Her hands fist in his shirt as she pulls him down to her. He loses any self-control he may have had and sucks her lower lip between his lips, nipping at it with his teeth. He feels her hips slowly brush against him.

Her hand snakes gently up his neck and around the back of his head, threading her fingers through his hair. She holds him firmly against her lips. His hands drop to her lower back and then to her hips where he gently rocks her against him. Slowly she works her way across his jaw and down his neck where she discovers an extremely sensitive area that causes him to moan her name in the most exquisite way.

Kate's fingers work the buttons of his shirt effortlessly; her hands snake under the shirt and push it over his shoulders. It falls softly to the ground and pools at their feet. Her nails tantalizingly rake up the smooth muscles of his chest. His breath catches as her fingers teasingly brush against his erect nipples. Soft, silky, lips move from his neck to his chest when she hears him whisper her name on a breath.

She hesitates for only a second and looks up into the darkest blue eyes she has ever let herself fall into. She lathes her tongue over his sweat-dampened body still drunk with sleep and makes him groan in frustration.

Kate's lower body presses firmly against his. Her hips make small gyrating motions that are driving him increasingly mad. He has no coherent thought at the moment other than the need to take her against the nearest wall and make her his, but he is very conscious of her healing injuries, and doesn't want to hurt her.

His teeth scrape dangerously across her collarbone as his hand drifts over the smooth planes of her stomach to the waistband of her pajama pants. His fingers trace the elastic band around her waist.

Castle sucks in a slow ragged breath, as his head falls forward against her shoulder, as her hand closes tightly around the growing bulge under his pajamas. He growls, deep and feral, when he tastes her neck, the vibrations send shivers coursing through her body. No one has ever caused this immediate reaction in her, and he still hasn't really touched her.

"Shit, Kate." He breathes into the top of her hair, his hips flex forward into the palm of her hand instinctively. She pulls on the drawstring of his pants, and drags them slowly over his hips, helping him shimmy out of them and his silk boxers quickly.

Kate's breath catches in her throat as she steps back to survey the sight before her. His chest looks like he works out, though he isn't completely chiseled. The soft undertones of his muscles ripple beneath the skin under her fingers.

"You're quite a sight, Mister Castle. You've been holding out on the females of the 12th," she whispers, licking and nipping at his ear. He growls low in his throat and entangles his fingers roughly in her chestnut colored mane, drawing her lips to his once again.

"You're overdressed, Kate." He replies between kisses, his voice emanating through every synapse firing erratically in her brain. His fingers work the clasp of her lacey black bra deftly with one hand. With the other he pulls her against him. The bare skin of his chest meets her soft silky breasts and scorches her tender skin; his excitement makes itself known his erection digs roughly into her hip. She shimmies out of the pajama bottoms quickly and pull him down for a searing kiss, her fingers tangle in the soft strands of his bed tussled hair.

"Do you know how many times I have dreamt of you like this, Kate?" She shakes her head, as his teeth scrape across her earlobe, sending shivers coursing through her. He raises his hands to her breasts; softly runs his fingers over them and cupping them in his hands. His index finger and thumb move to roll each nipple roughly between them. Kate's body responds eagerly, her hips stutter against his and her head drops back as a moan escapes her. "I lost count years ago, Kate," he moans against her.

She leans forward and sucks on the pulse point below his ear. He almost misses the softly whispered confession that sends his heart soaring and makes his heart beat skip. "Me too, Rick." Her next words still him.

"Castle, I want you. Please, haven't we waited long enough?" her voice is soft and full of desperate need and want. "It's been a week since I have been here, can't we just be careful. Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do. What man in his right mind wouldn't? Kate, your ribs, I can't hurt you. I couldn't forgive myself if I hurt you." His lips skim the sharp angle of her jaw. He nuzzles his nose against hers. "I can wait Kate. I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want you to wait. Castle. I want you now. Please don't make me beg." Her eyes meet his and he can't deny her anything when she looks at him like that. His body aches for her now more than ever, with the close proximity daily. She feels the vibration of the growl in his throat before she hears it, and her body instantly reacts with a shiver that races through her body.

Their bodies move as one against each other. He backs her up against one of the kitchen stools and props her up on it. His hands slide down her stomach and into the soft lacy strip of fabric she feels constitutes as underwear, and starts to pull it off. Her bottom lifts from the chair long enough for him to work it down over her hips and along the length of her long sexy legs.

Wet open-mouth kisses devour her neck and he works his way down her chest until he is teasing her nipples biting, licking and sucking them with abandonment. She arches her back to give him better access, and grabs his hair holding him to her chest.

Her bottom slips off the edge of the stool as he continues licking and nipping down her body, and she climbs back up. His tongue swirls wetly inside her bellybutton, sending delicious tendrils of fiery lust through her body.

"Castle, Please?" she repeats in lusty desperation. When he reaches her center he stops to admire her. He nuzzles her lips and enjoys the musky smell of her arousal. His tongue traces her bare outer lips and she bucks her hips into his face in anticipation.

His tongue ravishes her swollen clit, he nips and sucks on it until she shakes and begs him for her release. She yelps when he sucks her clit between his teeth and flicks it with his tongue. She throws her head back and moans his name repeatedly.

Kate gasps as he pulls away and places two fingers push aggressively into her, while his tongue returns to swirl circles around her swollen clit. All the while, his fingers continue assaulting her core with hard purposeful strokes. His fingers, press hard against the anterior side of her wall, searching for the one little spot that he knew will drive her over the edge.

Kate's breaths become ragged, and uneven. Her heartbeats irregularly and her pupils dilate to dark black orbs. She struggles with the extreme amounts of pleasure being inflicted upon her body. It's almost too much. Almost. She desperately needs her release. Kate's body tightens up into a tightly wound coil as Castle swirls his tongue roughly around her clit, before flicking it over and over.

"So close," Kate begs and chants in his ear. "Please. I need… More. Just a little more." Castle continues the assault on her body. Kate cries out for him louder. He knows she's at the brink as all of the muscles in her body continue tighten.

"So close," Kate chants continuously. "Please? Castle, I need to..." Her walls clench firmly around his fingers and the red-hot coil that has been building steadily in her body explodes; she shatters into a million pieces screaming his name. Her nails rake deeply across his back as wave after wave of pleasure surges through her.

Castle holds her against him, until she is able to talk again. "That was simply incredible, Castle. " She murmurs in his ear seductively making sure her lips scrape teasingly against his ear. "But Babe, we're not done quite yet my handsome, plucky sidekick."

She places her feet down on the rung of the stool and spreads her legs to accommodate his body between them. His erection glides against her wet folds, making her instantly want him again. "Please, Castle," she moans as his erection makes contact with her over stimulated highly sensitive clit. His lips taste the sweat at the juncture of her neck and her shoulder and he moans. She digs her fingers into his hair and moves his lips hungrily against hers; she tastes herself on them, making her desire swirl violently through her veins.

She reaches down and grazes his balls with her fingertips, loving the feel of him in her hands and relishing the effect it has on him. She grips his shoulder tightly as he hovers dangerously near her center.

"I need to be in you, Kate. I need to feel us connected. I have wanted this for so damn long," he says as his hips thrust forward.

"Castle, please make love to me…." She doesn't finish the sentence before Castle enters her quickly sheathing himself in her wet heat. He stills as she adjusts to him and he adjust to the incredible feeling of being in Kate Beckett. She moans and grabs his shoulders tightly, keeping their bodies pressed intimately together.

"You're so tight, so wet and warm for me," Castle breathes into her hair. Sweat builds on their bodies. Kate's breath becomes ragged, and her body hungers for him as he pushes deeper into her. Somehow, over the course of a few minutes their bodies have become one. They move in perfect unison, one always giving while the other receives, and one pushing while the other pulls.

They lose themselves in the sensations of one of the most beautiful acts of love between two lovers. Kate momentarily closes her eyes and savors the moment; opening her eyes only to stare into the deepest blue eyes she's ever seen. Her legs instinctively wrap tightly around him, her heels digging into his hips. She needs them to cum together. She lifts her hands and grazes his hips, drawing him in, guiding him closer with her hands and legs.

"Harder...Just a…Oh God Castle. Please...I need," the sensations coursing through her veins keep her from forming complete sentences or thoughts.

He pushes harder, driving himself deeply into her, giving her exactly what she desires. The feeling of her tightly enveloping him is incredible. She watches him watch her. Their breathing becomes ragged as their pace becomes erratic. His groans are feral as Kate's walls contract around him, his rhythm driving her body wild with need. Her abdominal muscles start to tightly coil as felt her pleasure suddenly grow wild within her.

"Castle I think that I'm…" those five words barely slip past Kate's lips before her orgasm overtakes her and she moans Castle's name repeatedly. It is the most powerful orgasms she'd ever experienced. Her mind is wondrously blank as her body floats back down into itself.

And just like that, Castle falls shuddering after her, crying out her name as he thrusts into her one last time. Her head drops onto his shoulder as she gasps eagerly for air. Castle's trembling arms threaten to give way, but continue to hold her strongly against him. Still in an orgasm induced daze Kate reaches up to touch his face gently. His eyes follow her hands as she runs her hand softly down his neck to his heart. She places her hand flat against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart below it. In that moment she knows she will love this man forever.

Making love with Castle is nothing like she'd imagined it would be, but rather, it was infinitely more. In fact, she was pretty sure Castle was the best thing to ever happen to her. He is everything that she has ever wanted or needed; and now she knows she is never going to let him go.

Her face nuzzles up to his ear as she whispers. "Always Castle, this right here is for always." His face explodes with happiness Kate has never quite seen on him.

Suddenly they hear a door close upstairs in the loft and they hear Martha yawn as she trudges towards the top of the stairs. They look at each other and grab the clothes within their reach and run for safety of his bedroom. Martha comes down the stairs and walks into the kitchen to the fridge. She takes some cut fruit and pours herself some hot coffee. She takes her food and coffee and walks towards the island. She spots a black scrap on the floor near one of the stools, and knows instantly what it is. With plate and mug in hand she decides to escape to her room before she sees much more than she wants of the pair in the other room.

"Welcome to the family, Kate. It's about time. Oh and you forgot the scrap of fabric I think you call your underwear out here by the stool. I'd come claim it before Alexis gets home from school! God knows with Richard as her father she's lucky she hasn't needed years of therapy."

Kate wraps her arms around his waist and smiles into his chest as she listens to Martha. Castle nuzzles his nose into her hair and places a light kiss to the top of her head. She is happy as she thinks life with the Castle clan is never going to be boring.

**Just one last plug for pressing that great, new, blue review button down at the bottom of the page. You will be glad you did, and I know I will. Thanks for reading! See you in one of my other stories; hope you give one of them a try. Who knows you might like it. Have a great weekend…and dang I miss Castle on Monday nights!**


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